Duh, She's A Zombie!

Very funny piece about Christmas shopping during a Zombie Apocalypse. Sample:

Victoria’s Secret is empty, on account of the Great Sloughing, I suppose. But I still can’t get any service. The girl behind the counter, vacant, practically drooling, shows no interest in my wife’s lingerie needs. Instead, she offers to take me into a dressing room and try on some outfits for me, at which point I realize, duh, she’s a zombie, and I have to take her out. The manager yells at me for not using my silencer, and then says they don’t accept American Express, or anything American.

Oh, and hey, that Santa of yours? A lot of kids going into his little house, not a lot coming out. Zombie. I’m just saying.